Robin Sieger Blog

Chances are we shall be remembered for how we lived and not how we died. In fact, if we are only remembered for how we died, we will have lived very unremarkable lives. Unless it was a spectacular Skate Board Jump over the Grand Canyon gone wrong.

A very good friend of mine, Peter, died recently after a championship battle against lung cancer. Though he came to accept he was not going to win, he took it all the way to the 15th round before dropping his arms in exhaustion, and was knocked out. He was my mentor, not in any official capacity, just a friend I could always ask for advice in business, and his guidance and wisdom was always on the target.

He left school at a young age and in a path trod by only a few overcame every obstacle he encountered and built up a global business that was eventually sold for an eye watering amount.

He knew all about hardship and poverty, yet to meet him you would never have known it, he was a man of quiet generosity, compassion and kindness. He was honest and loyal to his friends. If at the end of my life people can say the same of me then I will have lived a good life too. The money we make is simply the score on a board somewhere, it does not tell us how the person lived it only tells us a very small part of the story.

I remember whenever I played golf with Peter, he would always be delighted when I hit a good shot, and later in the evening would recall the shot and tell others of its magnificence. Peter would do this in company of others, to make me feel special. He had a way of making people feel special.

Long after he had stopped playing golf, just two months before he died I went to visit him at his second home in France. My nutty schedule meant I was only able to stay for 36 hours, he had told me to bring my golf shoes, and had arranged for me to play golf. We went the next day to the course and decided to play nine holes, unable to play himself he drove me around in the buggy. I wanted to play the best golf of my life that day, I wanted to hit 6 under par for the nine holes we were to play, I so wanted what would be our final round together to be magical, I wanted to make this a day of 'marvellous shots' for my friend Peter.

Alas, I tried too hard and played like a child trying to launch the ball into orbit on every swing. As we came to the last hole, I remember apologising to Peter for playing so badly (thereby forgetting the first rule of golf… never apologise).

I stepped onto the 18th tee ( as we had started at 10), teed it up, and (if you'll permit me a moment of immodesty) I crushed my drive over 300 yds down the middle of the fairway. "What a marvellous drive" he said. We drove to the ball which was by far the furthest I had ever hit it on that course at anytime, I had only 110 yards to the flag instead of the usual 170+. I just missed the green, and three putted!!!

Later that evening once again he recalled at dinner my 'marvellous' drive.

That is how I remember Peter, making me feel special. It's how we all remember people, not simply for their achievements, but for how they make us feel. So live your life with that understanding, whoever you are whatever your circumstances, make people feel valued loved and appreciated.

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