I have spoken to many people (well about 8 that I can think of at the moment) who met and were introduced to Bill Clinton, before, during and after his time as President of America.
I have know others who have met Prime Ministers of the UK, dined with the rich and famous, met Nobel Prize winners, played golf with the US Masters Champion; all of which has given me a little insight into how these people are around strangers. Some were aloof, impatient, convivial, some humble others arrogant. The one person who consistently had the biggest and most profound impact on those they met, was Bill Clinton.
I have heard many tales of his capacity to meet someone once and have recall of the person's name and where they met ten years later. I don't know whether that is true, but I do know all the people I know who met him were meeting him for the first time. Each one of them felt they had made a special connection with him, that he had really, and I mean really, really liked them in particular, and this includes four people who met him at the same time who later that evening when having dinner, told the others that they felt they had made a special connection with him, or put it in simpler language, he had liked them the best.
The key to this is he had in the space of a few seconds made them feel special, by appearing to really be really appreciating the opportunity to have met them. I mention this in particular not because Bill Clinton was a politician, but because he intuitively understood, that how you make people feel, will have a more lasting impact than what you may say, or do. I also imagine he has a natural charisma which some people have, that special X factor which you can’t define, or replicate, but you recognise it when you experience it. In the same way some people are naturally gifted in terms of being musical, numerate, co-ordinated, artistic and many other ways. I am sure people who are naturally charismatic, will stand out even in the chorus line of a musical, they have that special something that draws you to them.
But charisma alone is not enough, and our capacity to make people feel special relies on no skill other than a positive attitude towards others and a commitment to making people you meet feel valued. Sounds easy, but as you know we can all have a bad hair day, when with the best will in the world we become grumpy, and simple things seem to bother us completely out of proportion to the event itself.
As regular readers of my blog will know I am a realist, I know that the theory of all the self help books, and personal transformation literature seems to point to a Disney-esque world where everyone is fulfilled happy and successful. I know the reality is very different, people struggle with personal change, and their search continues ever forwards looking for the next 'new thing', that will finally help them change their life.
If Bill Clinton taught me anything it would be do the simple things well when you meet people, engage, smile, be genuinely pleased to meet them, listen when they talk, and follow up. We live in modern times where the personal touch is frequently lost in scripted spontaneity of foreign call centres, of indifferent customer service, of policy driven employers who take out on their staff the frustrations of their own lives.
But we can, when we engage with anyone, chose whether it will be a memorable or a forgettable experience. It seems to me that Bill Clinton chose the former, so he definitely got that bit right.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.