Robin Sieger Blog

Last month was a busy month for me with a schedule that resembled the timetable of a busy railway station in Tokyo. I think I had five nights at home with trips to Turkey, France, Spain, Russia and India. I also had a few trips within the UK.

I am almost on first name terms with some of the flight crew from British Airways, and have to confess that I sleep better in hotel beds then I do at home, as I am used to having to adapt to new mattresses regularly. In fact in my US apartment I have the exact mattress, comforter pillows and linen they use in the Best Westin Hotels, and I try to fool my body into thinking I am in a hotel bed.

Anyone who travels a great deal will let you know that it is not fun, it is tiring and after you have just taken this long journey, reset your watch, and are battling jetlag your work is just about to begin. So I would like to share my unofficial top tips for air travel, they have evolved over the past ten years and hope they ease your burden. I doubt you will find them in travel guides or in flight magazines on air travel.

1. Never complain about the in-flight meals, you are hurtling through the air at around 550 mph, 36,000 feet above the planet with only one sixteenth of an inch of metal between you and real misery.
2. Whichever line you join at check-in will immediately grind to a halt, when the Hungarian weightlifter refuses to accept that he cannot take his complete set of Olympic scale weights with him.
3. Never argue with those in authority over your seat allocation, do your best to look like Bambi, and give them a heartfelt thanks. It will make no difference, but maybe and just maybe later they will think about how they treated you and have a sleepless guilt ridden night. (Just maybe.. you're right they won't.)
4. Buy silicon flexible earplugs every other model are not ear plugs, they should be called 'ear foam things that quickly fall out and make no absolutely no difference'.
5. Unless you fly First Class or Business class DO NOT DRINK THE WINE. I will say no more on this other than I read the budget per passenger in economy per meal is about 60¢. So do the math.
6. Legroom in coach is just a word airlines like to use. Never read 29 inches and think 'that sounds pretty good'.
7. Always be willing to lie about what you do for a living if the person sitting next to you seems too keen to strike up a conversation with you, don't think of it as lying as such, see it more as having a cover story to put them off the scent of continued conversation. I find "I sell life insurance cover to airline passengers" works wonders.
8. Whenever you feel stressed take a deep breath, and remind yourself it is not worth getting stressed about. It really isn't.
9. Develop a sensational cover story to get an upgrade, I used to have one but told too many other travellers, then they must have started using it too. So no longer fly as the editor of a fancy high-end travel magazine. Oh why did I have to tell everyone…Do'h!
10. Finally in the spirit of this blog enjoy the journey you are undertaking, it can be a metaphor for life.

There will be good days and bad days; you will be the victim of extreme rudeness by unhappy overworked and under appreciated staff.

You will receive extraordinary kindness, and witness joyful reunions at arrivals that will make you cry.

You will get an upgrade on a long haul flight and spend 8 hours trying to wipe the grin off your face.

Just as you will receive a downgrade due to overbooking and find yourself in the middle seat between two grossly overweight men (Alaska Airlines Fairbanks to Los Angeles Dec 2001), who you forget are just trying to get home for Christmas.

You will see people at their very best and their very worst, and at some point in your life you may well be one of them.

The important thing is to the very best of your ability enjoy the journey, for all its challenges and stresses, it allows us to learn a little bit more about ourselves, to appreciate what we have and to get to where we are going a darn site faster than walking.

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